Raneem Hijazi holds her child, Mariam, on her lap in her wheelchair, as Hijazi’s mother-in-law, Soha Sakallah (standing), helps her.
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Claire Harbage/NPR
DOHA, Qatar — Sitting in the lounge chair, Raneem Hijazi feels her anxiousness rise. She is ready to satisfy her 11-month-old daughter for the primary time for the reason that hospital in Gaza the place she gave delivery.
Then the door to her condominium in Doha opens, and her mother-in-law carries child Mariam, along with her curly hair in pigtails, to her.
Hijazi, 23, is wheelchair-bound now — her legs nonetheless stuffed with pins and braces. She holds child Mariam on her lap and the kid leans towards her mom’s left shoulder, the place her arm has been amputated.
Hijazi kisses her face, says her identify, and “It’s me, your mother.” Nevertheless it’s clear, Mariam doesn’t acknowledge her. The child reaches for her grandmother.
This bittersweet second is one Hijazi thought may by no means occur. In spite of everything, it’s taken greater than 300 days. Nevertheless it’s a second she has thought lots about, one which stored her going within the darkest occasions, by way of greater than a dozen surgical procedures and excruciating bodily and emotional ache.
In that second of reuniting, all of Hijazi’s doubts disappeared. She thought, “That is my daughter. How did I depart her behind?”
The evening of Mariam’s delivery
Mariam’s delivery was a miracle. Hijazi was eight months pregnant when the Hamas-led Oct. 7, 2023, assault on Israel occurred, and the Israeli airstrikes began in Gaza Metropolis, the place she lived along with her husband, his household, and their 11-month-old son, Azuz.
The bombings despatched Hijazi and her prolonged household to hunt shelter in central Gaza, the place the Israeli army stated it was a “secure zone.” It was there, at 3 a.m., that an airstrike hit their lodging.
Hijazi’s mother-in-law, Soha Sakallah, noticed Hijazi, her legs and arms trapped and mangled. “Her leg — I might see the bones, the flesh. It was darkish. I did not know what to do,” Sakallah remembers, crying. Close by, she noticed a grotesque scene: Hijazi’s son Azuz, Soha’s grandson, wasn’t shifting. “I used to be saying, Azuz, Azuz. I held him, and I noticed that his head was gone.”
Mariam waits and performs along with her grandmother throughout her mom’s bodily remedy appointment.
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Child Azuz was killed that day, together with seven different relations. Hijazi, who was badly injured and buried in rubble, informed her husband Asaad Sakallah, who survived, “Go away me. Go away me to die. My son is useless.”
However they did not depart her. Hijazi made it to Nasser Hospital in Khan Younis, within the southern Gaza Strip, the place 1000’s of individuals lined the hallways, in search of security from the continuing airstrikes. There, the medical doctors carried out an emergency cesarean part, lit solely by the flashlights on their cellphones. There was no electrical energy, no water, and no antibiotics to struggle infections. And but she delivered a wholesome child woman, a number of weeks early.
She named her Mariam, after her husband’s sister who was killed.
“The minute they obtained Mariam out and she or he was born and she or he drew her first breath, I drew a breath as properly,” remembers Hijazi. “I got here again to life.”
Airlifted to Qatar
However that life was nonetheless tenuous. After giving delivery to Mariam, Hijazi’s wounds had been so extreme she was evacuated first to Egypt after which by the Qatari authorities to Doha, Qatar, the place about 2,000 critically wounded sufferers from Gaza stay, present process medical care.
However she was greater than 1,000 miles away from her household.
Child Mariam, together with Hijazi’s husband and his mother and father, had been finally in a position to make it to Egypt. They paid 1000’s of {dollars} to flee Gaza, however didn’t have visas to affix Hijazi in Doha. So for 10 months, Hijazi, who was deep within the grief of dropping her son, needed to watch from her hospital mattress as her second child grew up over video messages and calls.
Soha Sakallah performs along with her granddaughter, Mariam, at an condominium complicated for refugees from Gaza in Doha, Qatar, in September quickly after they arrived to the nation from Egypt.
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“Daily she would do one thing new,” Hijazi remembers. “Just a little factor. A brand new motion.” She smiled for the primary time. She began speaking. She obtained tooth.
“At first she was so tiny, she wouldn’t be capable to correctly deal with the cellphone once we would speak on video name,” she provides. “However then when she grew a bit older, I purchased a toy for her, so she would deal with the cellphone display screen and have a look at the digicam. After which I felt I might speak to her.”
Being alone in Doha was the toughest half. Over these lonely months, Hijazi underwent greater than a dozen surgical procedures, and numerous hours of psychological and bodily remedy — that’s nonetheless ongoing.
“After I first obtained to Doha, I used to be in a darkish place,” she remembers. “I used to consider issues lots, I obtained depressed. To start with, I wasn’t sleeping in any respect. I informed the physician I used to be having nightmares of the evening we had been hit by the airstrike. I stored reliving that day — the day we had been hit — over and over, unable to neglect it.“
In that grief, the one factor that stored her going was the hope of in the future assembly, and holding, her second child for the primary time.
Soha Sakallah tries to coax her granddaughter, Mariam, to sleep on the couch.
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“Speaking to my daughter would make me really feel so significantly better,” Hijazi says. “A 360 diploma distinction, I felt aid. She would fully flip my temper round.”
After which, on one of many final days of August, when Mariam was already crawling and speaking, her household was authorised to affix her in Doha.
By September, Hijazi’s small two-bedroom condominium is packed: There’s a bubbly child plus Hijazi’s husband and his mother and father, Soha and Ezzat Sakallah who’ve helped increase Mariam.
A lot of the time, all of the adults are centered on child Mariam, who’s now the focus. “She’s the fruit of this home,” her grandfather Ezzat says, “the enjoyment of this home.”
Hijazi says her daughter’s presence has lifted her spirits and helped her deal with rebuilding her bodily power.
A protracted street to restoration
Most of the providers Hijazi and different wounded sufferers from Gaza want are housed in the identical complicated in Doha the place they stay: flats constructed as housing for soccer’s 2022 FIFA World Cup. In one in every of her afternoon bodily remedy classes, Hijazi’s therapist lifts her leg with a weight strapped to her ankle.
“We’re doing this to strengthen the muscle mass,” says Ruwaa Majed, her physiotherapist. “Maintain it for 10 seconds, and launch.” She counts to 10, as Hijazi protests. “I’m carried out Ruwaa, I already did 10!” she says, laughing. “You’re counting too slowly.”
These two girls are across the similar age, and over the months they’ve been working collectively they’ve change into shut associates. Some classes, they only sit and speak. By this level, Majed is aware of Hijazi typically wants slightly push to maintain going.
“Come on Raneem,” she encourages now, “Don’t you wanna be capable to run after your daughter?”
However practically a yr after the assault, even the smallest actions nonetheless trigger excruciating ache. Hijazi wants a prosthetic arm and would require no less than one other yr of intensive remedy to have the ability to stroll and take care of Mariam. She’s scheduled for one more main surgical procedure within the coming weeks to try to reconstruct the kneecap on her left leg, which was crushed.
Raneem Hijazi was injured when the condominium in Gaza the place she was sheltering was bombed. She’s engaged on constructing power in her legs, although she is going to nonetheless want extra surgical procedures earlier than she will be able to heal.
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“Typically I sit there and I believe, I’ve solely obtained one arm, each my legs are injured. My well being isn’t excellent. … How can I stand up and do issues? People who find themselves in my state of affairs don’t do issues,” she says. “However then I hear tales about girls who’ve misplaced each their legs and arms and are nonetheless doing issues and I believe, why not me?“
She just lately watched a video on-line of a girl who does every thing along with her toes — consuming and ingesting, and she or he felt impressed.
“I don’t wish to simply sit there and do nothing, so I’m attempting to be taught to do issues with my accidents. I’m attempting to prepare dinner,” she says. “I believe to myself: I nonetheless have one arm, no less than. Let me use it.”
Again in her condominium, Hijazi winces as she walks gingerly down the hallway to the kitchen, bracing herself towards the wall. She begins to make espresso, utilizing her tooth to open a water bottle and untie a plastic bag of spices.
“I by no means need individuals to do issues for me,” she says, “I wish to do issues for myself.”
Spending time within the kitchen brings her consolation. Earlier than the warfare, she liked to bake. “Here’s a chocolate cheesecake I made,” she says, mentioning a photograph on her cellphone. She scrolls again by way of time, pulling up extra desserts and candies she’s crafted. “Made by Raneem!” she says, laughing.
Regardless of having an extended street forward, moments like these remind her of the components of herself, and her previous life in Gaza, that she is working to regain.
Scrolling by way of cake photographs, she tries to not linger on the a whole bunch of photographs of Azuz. It’s unattainable to recollect her life in Gaza with out feeling the ache of dropping her son, she says. Mariam is now about the identical age Azuz was when he was killed, and each she and her husband can’t assist however see him in her.
Raneem Hijazi (left) holds her child, Mariam, whereas sitting subsequent to her husband, Asaad Sakallah, at an out of doors cafe in Doha, Qatar. Till this summer season, Hijazi was in Qatar by herself getting therapy. Now having the entire household round has livened up her life.
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“She seems similar to her brother,” Asaad Sakallah, 25, says.
“If my daughter does one thing that jogs my memory of my son, I discover myself instantly going to look again by way of photographs of him, and remembering him, and I begin to cry,” says Hijazi. “Her eyes are like his. Her chortle is like his. Even after I maintain her, my coronary heart hurts for her and for my son.”
Sakallah pulls up a video of Azuz, laughing. He then scrolls to a unique video, taken simply days in the past, of Mariam laughing.
It sounds precisely the identical.
Mariam does not know her mother but, and Hijazi’s accidents make it troublesome to carry her, to feed her and to alter her. In her wheelchair, Hijazi cradles Mariam along with her one arm and Mariam struggles to get away.
“As you may see, she’s not used to me. Her grandma is like her mom,” she explains. “That feeling alone kills me.”
Hijazi has resorted to little tips to maintain Mariam shut. On the sofa one morning she tickles the little woman, feeding her small kernels of popcorn to maintain her from crawling away. “I’m tempting her with popcorn,” she says. “I hope that she will get connected to me and will get used to me. The sensation of motherhood is so particular.”
With each chew Mariam giggles, and Hijazi smiles. “Little by little it’s getting higher,” Hijazi says. “She’s attending to know me and really feel extra comfy round me.”
Starting to consider the longer term
For a lot of the time Hijazi has been in Doha, she hasn’t let herself take into consideration the longer term.
“We’re simply dwelling every day because it comes right here, we don’t know what’s going to occur tomorrow,” she says. “I take into consideration how we are going to construct a life for Mariam. Our life is not settled right here. The place will we be in a yr’s time?”
However having her household be part of her these previous few days has eased a few of her anxieties. She’s taken on the position of tour information, directing them to ice cream on the port and to the Souq Waqif, a market within the heart of town.
One evening Sakallah pushes her wheelchair by way of the part of the market promoting loud colourful birds. Mariam is using on her lap, holding onto an enormous pink balloon and squealing with pleasure.
Raneem Hijazi walks a number of steps with assist from her husband, Asaad Sakallah, to see the skyline of Doha from the port. They take some photographs within the metropolis and later get ice cream, constructing new reminiscences collectively on this new life.
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There aren’t any airstrikes right here; no broken buildings. They’re secure. However the market reminds Hijazi of markets again in Gaza, and she or he lingers on the actual fact this isn’t their house.
However Mariam’s unfiltered delight is contagious, and at this second Hijazi feels comfy, and hopeful.
“I inform myself we’re solely dwelling this life as soon as, and it’s fleeting,” Hijazi says. In these moments, it is arduous to not try to see the world by way of Mariam’s eyes. “I’d be pleased giving Mariam even half the life we used to have in Gaza.”
This story was reported by Elissa Nadworny; produced by Fatima Al-Kassab; photographs by Claire Harbage; blended for radio by Lauren Migaki; edited for radio by James Hider and Steve Drummond; edited for digital by Alex Leff.
